new year resolution

Wow, Its been really a tough year, go through lots, and learned from it. was a great experience, feeling of pain and empty, as well as learning how to love and being touch emotionally by my lovely girlfriend.

Anyway, looking at my new year resolution from the start, I realize I have achieve everything on the list d, which is a good sign, a sign of growing up I hope? Lets just hope it is ;)

Hudud laws

The purpose of a legal system is to keep the citizen of a country safe from each other. Though that is not the same for all the laws. As humans we have flaws and so does certain laws. As a Malaysian, it saddens me to know that a minority of the uneducated and really misguided people actually wanted to implement the Hudud law upon our country.

The reasons I believe that certain group of people believes that the law should be implemented is because it is the Gods law. The ultimate law that all believer should believes in and they believe that this law will bring our country more peace and unity. Though as many laws are flawed, human are flawed too.

Thus making this Hudud law not so perfect as it seems. For example, according to Hudud law, anyone with 4 witness accusing them of committing a crime they did not commit, the person would have sentence guilty. Ideally this might work, because they have the witnesses swore an oath to the God to be completely honest. Though we human are not perfect and are rather manipulative, there is a high tendency of us abusing the system.

Another example will be rape, how in the world can you find four witnesses to prove the commiter guilty?
In the first place, if there is 4 people there to help the victim out, she should be safe right? Second of all, what if there is only 4 people there, and decided to rape the girl, how the hell are you all gonna prove them guilty?

Lastly, it will be thieves, they get amputated. But if a Chinese, Indian and Malay guy go steal something together, it will be weird that when they get caught, the Chinese and Indian get a fine and maybe sentence to jail, and the Malay guy has to register with the OKU association of our country? If these man that is able, and can be improve or change to contribute to the society in the future, did just one mistake and is amputated, would it be a waste to the country resources as well as efficiency?

I am a Chinese and I am a Malaysian, thus anyone believing that i cant voice out for my people, I will like to let you know, this is a country that every race live in harmony, and it is through working together with one goal (developing the country) only we can strive in such competitive global market. As you all know, united we stand, divided we fall.

Start blogging again :)

I have decided to start blogging again as I have recover and found new inspiration on life :)

Diary of a broken boy.

There were this boy, that was so engross in loving a girl, a girl he deem worthy against opinion of all others. However, in the end they dint get a happy ending. Separation, might be a good thing to both party, as there were too much conflict generated from the combination of these sorrows pair. As humans we hope for the best, as so we hope that the girl, have a good life ahead of her.

Whats sad in this story is not that it has to come to an end, but the conflict that happen. The betrayal of trust. Secrets the boy shared about his inner thought, to the one he trusted the most has spilled out to the surface. The fact is, its really hurt to be betrayed this way. Whats once thought was sacred between two person, has been broken. It hurts when the boys friend start wearing a mask in front of him, never knowing what the boy has been through.

Though all this, is no fault of anybody else, but the boy, as his love for the girl, has blinded him all this time. Has cause him to make wrong judgment, to utter the wrong words, to break his principle, even till the extend that he lost his rationality. In the process of all this, he has hurt everyone around him, his friends, his parents,everyone that cared about him and sadly, even himself and the girl.

Guess at the end, there is nothing left of the past, nothing more to be held on to by this boy. As every sweet memory of the past, had turn into painful memories. As every smile in the past, has faded behind a mask. Saying good bye is the only thought behind the boys head. Good bye.

Death

The death of my heart, 6th of May. RIP.

This emptiness in me, is not my weakness, it should be my strength, cause when everything is destroyed and broken down, no one can ever destroy me again. I have nothing to lose.

yours truly,
Daniel.

Nothing, by the script

Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I 'm better off now
Then I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I 'm smiling but I 'm dying trying not to drag my
feet
They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I 'm never
Only they can see where this is gonna end
But they all think I 'm crazy but to me it 's perfect
sense

And my mates are all there trying to calm me
down
' Cause I 'm shouting your name all over town
I 'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around
I know that I 'm drunk but I 'll say the words ,
And she'll listen this time even though they 're
slurred ,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her ,
I 'm still in love but all I heard was nothing
( nothing , nothing. . . )

So I stumble there, along the railings and the
fences
I know I 'm with her face to face, that she'll
come to her senses
Every drunk step and path leads me to her door
If she sees how much I 'm hurting
She' ll take me back for sure

And my mates are all there trying to calm me
down
' Cause I 'm shouting your name all over town
I 'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around
I know that I 'm drunk but I 'll say the words ,
And she'll listen this time even though they 're
slurred ,
So I dialed her number and confessed to her ,
I 'm still in love but all I heard was nothing
( nothing , nothing. . . )
She said nothing (nothing nothing)
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing
Nothing
I got nothing
Nothing
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing

Oh sometimes love 's intoxicating
Oh you' re coming down your hands are shaking
When you realise there 's no one waiting
Am I better off dead
Am I better off a quitter
They say I 'm better off now
Than I ever was with her

And my mates are all there trying to calm me
down
' Cause I 'm shouting your name all over town
I 'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around
I know that I 'm drunk but I 'll say the words ,
And she'll listen this time even though they 're
slurred ,
So I dialed her number and confess to her ,
I 'm still in love but all I heard was nothing
( nothing , nothing. . . )
She said nothing (Nothing , nothing . .. )
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing ( Nothing , nothing. . . )
I got nothing ( Nothing , nothing. . . )
Oh I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh I got nothing ( Nothing , nothing. . . )
I got nothing, I got nothing

This songs reminds me of myself, though I know I need to be strong, but guess I still might take some for tonight, just to get to bed. if not it will be sleepless, as I am wide awake now.

here without you, day 5

I am finally sick and tired of drinking myself to sleep, waking up, drink and sleep again. Fuck that, I don't need alcohol to go to sleep, I am stronger than that.

I know that if I want to be successful, I can't dwell like this anymore. I notice, what is wrong with myself d, I am actually not piss with my dad, nor with my friends in the past. I am afraid of the feeling of being betray and the feeling that I will end up betraying ppl. all these feelings are trigger by my sudden fall, by me giving trust, by me trying to do what I think is right, and the fact that things turn up worst hurts and trigger my thinking. But I know I should put a stop to this.

Master Yoda from star wars said this "Attachment leads to jealousy and insecurities, train to let go everything your afraid to lose. " and what I wrote on my older post says that, by letting go of certain perception, I will be happier. So I decide that its time for me to be happy. its time for me to learn to let go things that I am afraid to lose, or to be like.

I am sorry dad, for all these rude days, we are family, and I should be thankful that I still have you.

yours truly,
Daniel

here without you, day 4

#nowplaying, utopia, and the man that can't be moved. These two songs been playing in my mind again and again. the lyrics that we use to tease each other "your holding my hands but you don't understand" has came true. Given if we are holding hands now, I doubt that we can read each other as we can in the past.

I don't know what has gone wrong, but I really don't feel like giving up, cause your certainly special to me, and I can't past one day without thinking of you. Though, the outcome don't just lie in my hands, effort from myself is not enough, and I guess your not ready to put in the effort as well.

Sometimes i think, we are like a ship that sail the ocean, with a beautiful start. Then came the storm, now we are wreck and lost in the middle of deep blue sea, don't know what to do.

Though, I think I can be like the lyrics of the man that can't be moved. "if one day you wake up, and you find that your missing me" don't need to wonder where on this earth that I could be, just call me, and I will be there. Hopefully by then, your ready to give me and yourself a chance, to love and be loved, and be thankful for the presence of each other.

yours truly,
Daniel

here without you, day 3

its been three days, wondering if you thought of me ? I hope its a yes though.

anyway, today was a boring day, and I decided to download some songs. Those songs that I downloaded are some how or rather related to you, at least there is memories bout you in it.

well, there is fireflies, which I remember you sing a very cute line from it, on our way to picadilly. there is also, waiting for the end and two is better than one, which we sang by the road side after new years. there is love like woes, a song that describe your treatment towards me. there is need you, a dedication from you to me. there is what are words, that you spam all the time. there is fix you, when your emo, and there is the newest emo song, when we noticed we are so far away, Spanish guitar...

enough said, conclusion is that I miss you, and what we had. really feel sad for what we had become.

yours truly,
Daniel

here without you, day 2

hmmm, guess it will be the second day in a role that we dint talk. I been thinking of you, wondering how are you and all. I been quite silly also, I had a dream that you texted me, though I woke up in disappointment, checking my phone, finding it empty.

Then in the day, I saw a movie, it was about Valentine, it brings out memories of us spending Valentine together. I remembered every detail, it was so clear. it was a Monday, you had mgt presentation, I was eager to surprise you, knowing that you had such a long and bad previous week. lol, it was a failed surprise though, as you know most of the things already. but deep down inside, I really hope that you still see my effort like a soh zai to at least cheer you up. I really want you to be happy. though I remembered, that night ended with argument from both side, about our status, and about some other family stuff.

though, there is one thing that I really like that night, you told me that I was special to you. I still remember it till now.

you may wonder why don't I text you, but the reason is that I am afraid, afraid that you won't reply, afraid that we will fight again and jeopardize our wreck relationship again, afraid that you will reply just for the sake of layaning me, and not because you want to text me too. Apart from that deep down inside, I been wondering too, when am I gonna hear from you. I sincerely miss you and never felt this way before. Hope that maybe this distance between us will bring us closer, and you will think through things, and maybe reconsider things between us.

yours truly,
Daniel

here without you. day 1

its been a long time since I have posted anything. This time however, it will be rather different, it will be my feeling rather than thinking or ideology.

I guess by now, Its safe for me to say, that I am here without you and news from you for a day already. I miss you, as well as getting your text, talking to you till late night. I miss all our memories, it was so beautiful. Recently however, everytime we talk, we will end up fighting, or worst still silent treatment from each other.

I tried almost everything to spice things up, I tried almost everything to stop fighting. but it just won't work, when your the only one trying. and now I am tired, so dam tired with life and with a fair share of my own problems.

Its is sad, how a once beautiful budding relationship can turn out this way. I also feel sad that, what I thought was the right thing to do, loving you with my all, turns out to be a wrong thing to do, and what hurts most is that even you feel that way.

Though hurt and alone now, I am still holding on to you, in my dark room blogging away. My loves for you, our once beautiful past, and a hope for a happy future together with you, are my only source of energy left. I doubt that you will read this, but if you do, I hope that no matter what happen in the future, you will be safe and happy at all times. Don't want you to cry, and feel sad at all.

yours truly,
Daniel

change style?

changing style of writing, changing style of blog, is it wise? will it be better? tell me what you all think! comment, or chatbox please

Happy chinese new year

Harlooo, This is gonna be a very short blog post, i just want to take this opportunity to wish all my friends and readers a very happy chinese new year. Lets all welcome the year of the rabbit with a heart full of joy and hope, and let the year ahead be filled with happiness and abundance. :)

may happiness comes in pair :)

Yours truly Daniel Ng :)

Thank God

This is another inspirational post of mine, but its gonna be written in dedication to Ysabelle, and the way i present it will be slightly different.

just about 8 months ago, I met this girl, her name is Ysabelle, and sparks flies the moment we met. However, i being the jerk that i used to be, did some stupid stuff, and i broke her heart. I felt sad and guilty that time, but dint really do much bout it. At that time, it was part of my life that i wish i could erase! But life being life itself, cant be undone, so I lived with the pain, and the consequences too.

However, few months back, we got to be friends and started having some on and off small talk. And as days goes by, we start to know each other better, then came advising and helping each other through tough time in life. Then i start to have a good feeling about her, like a feeling that she is a nice person, and wanna treat her nicer *not like yet* Then again, as time went past, we got to know each other really well on the surface, we read each others mind alot, but there are still lots of room for us to know each other better.

This went on for about 1 to 3 weeks, and in this period of time, i slowly start to like her. At the start of 2011, during her bday, i told her how i felt, and held her hands and ask her to be my gf. i am still pending for an answer. But this girl really make me Thank God for all the mistake i did in life, as its leads me to her (how i met your mother quote). I thank God cause, without all the previous shit that had happen, we wont know each other so well. Ps: my mind is constantly being intrude *just joking*

To all readers, hope you all understand that a lot of time in life, you are bound to make mistake, but do not try and ignore these mistake, or complain about it, because one day you might thank God for that mistake that you have made, as these mistake might change you into a better person, in order for you all to receive a better future. With love, xoxo

Life is a bitch, enjoy it !

Well there is certain stuff in life that you must know, which is that life is not always rainbows and butterfly and more often then that, LIFE IS A BITCH *known fact*

dedicate this to all my teenage friend who is experiencing the same thing with me now, which i call it the "sudden parental PMS" or what is known as the second stage of identity crisis.

Symptom of this include:
1) sudden obsession in trying to control your life. ps: there were once more carefree and let you make your own decision, but now they suddenly try to control your life, by helping u make decision.
2) sudden expectation hike *expectation that is normal, till sudden high expectation like, you must get 3.8 gpa*
3) occasional domestic noise pollution *when they scream

Causes of this:
1) son or daughter going to college or UNI.
2) son or daughter been going out a lot.
3) Parents sudden fear and realization that they might lose you some day. But being their generation, they dont know how to express themselves, which leads them to do all the above. PS: to parents that is reading this, all the above are going to distance you from you child, so try a more creative approach, so you all can be buddies :)

No fear guys and girls, see that enlarge photo! Life is a bitch enjoy her or him, so take it easy, enjoy your bitch, and dont get too frustrated by your parents action, as they did it out of love, even though it might not be the right way. Also, can try to give it sometime, they might tone down, as you all should also try to prove yourself to them. Note to any parent that is reading this, teenager nowadays and during your era is different, I hope you all understand that, and hope that you do not use your parents way on us, as we dont want to be exact replica of you all, we need space to grow.

With love, xoxo