Thursday, May 5, 2011

here without you, day 5

I am finally sick and tired of drinking myself to sleep, waking up, drink and sleep again. Fuck that, I don't need alcohol to go to sleep, I am stronger than that.

I know that if I want to be successful, I can't dwell like this anymore. I notice, what is wrong with myself d, I am actually not piss with my dad, nor with my friends in the past. I am afraid of the feeling of being betray and the feeling that I will end up betraying ppl. all these feelings are trigger by my sudden fall, by me giving trust, by me trying to do what I think is right, and the fact that things turn up worst hurts and trigger my thinking. But I know I should put a stop to this.

Master Yoda from star wars said this "Attachment leads to jealousy and insecurities, train to let go everything your afraid to lose. " and what I wrote on my older post says that, by letting go of certain perception, I will be happier. So I decide that its time for me to be happy. its time for me to learn to let go things that I am afraid to lose, or to be like.

I am sorry dad, for all these rude days, we are family, and I should be thankful that I still have you.

yours truly,
Daniel

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